my passion

hey guys so the last post was pretty emotional i was at a really bad stage of my 19 year old life I meant every word I said but theres the fine line between thinking it and doing it and i was just think about it I wasn't actually going to.
Anyway this new post isnt about that this is about my passion. I guess alot reacently i have lost all my ambitions and dreams and passion for anything i say i know i will write this book i get round to doing it and then bam i have this film to watch blah blah blah. then ooh i am going to make a tablet case get round to doing it oh i have no money i will forget about it. then i wanted to make a dolls house that went out the window. just so many things i have wanted to do but then i give up on them so easily. look at acting i did that for so many years and when i didnt get through on the 2nd course at college i gave up its like why bother with it. I need to find my passion again i dont know what it will be and if i will stick to it but at the moment all i have going for my work and passion wise is morrisons. i mean i love robert with a passion and i want to marry him and grow old with him it just feels like who am i who is Ashleigh Lauren Dean? in 10 years am i going to be financially stable in a house with rob and kids. or am i going to be swimming in debt and not being able to even produce a kid.
Hopefully this holiday to wales will help me find myself and light my flame again cause now all im doing is breathing in gas.

thanks and i will write soon
xoxo
smashleigh